WEIGHT MANAGEMENT FOR THE SHAMELESSLY OPTIMISTIC

Weight management for the shamelessly optimistic“It’s a hormonal thing!” Raise your hands if you’re either 50% of the female population that unfortunately has to deal with imbalanced hormones or the remaining 50% who conveniently takes shelter behind those clumsy scapegoats.

And raise both your hands if you can proudly claim to be falling into each of the above categories.

Come-on! Don’t be shy. I’d probably be the one leading the pack.

My journey with weight management is a rather recent one, but, that doesn’t minimize its importance or impact in my life. To better understand how I got to this point, you would need to know where it all began. And I’m not talking about the big bang! (although it would be fairly accurate to call it my big bang)

Flashback.. (No need to be dramatic and visualize it in b/w mode, ‘twas only 15 yrs ago – only being the operative word)

I have always been tall. Back in school, it meant standing at the end of lines, be it the morning assembly or Phys. Ed. I was (and still am) the anti-thesis of anything remotely sporty. In hindsight, it was nothing short of a miracle that I managed to maintain a near-perfect BMI.

College saw me reed thin and I strangely took pride in my distorted vision of a healthy body. My family called me BB – nothing to do with endearments like Baby, rather, it stood for Bag of Bones! I even won an extempore competition by speaking about a girl’s fight with anorexia (Believe me; the irony of the situation is not lost on me) Studying in a premier fashion institute, I loved it when I could fit into every modeling size garment that was stitched. The problems, so to speak, started a couple of years after beginning work. The monotony of working life crept in and with it, came its good buddy – complacency. As years passed, tasks were increasingly delegated to subordinates and slowly the will to do small errands by oneself diminished. Succinctly put, the size of my butt was directly proportional to the time I sat on it – which was quite a lot.

Jeans and trousers stopped mid thigh while shirts refused to slide down elbows; that’s when the crafty mind takes over. Oh, I blamed everything from genetics, to Delhi’s deplorable water quality to adulterated food and a demanding work schedule. And it worked. But at the end of 6 years, all that I ended up with was a body I hated and a man I loved.

At the risk of sounding blunt, the unvarnished truth is that most couples tend to turn a blind eye to the other’s physical faults. Before you start huffing and puffing, I wish to clarify – weight related physical faults that have occurred due to ones laziness. Case in point – a worried ‘Do I look fat’ from a wife/girlfriend/partner would be answered with a ‘How does it matter? We’re together now’, followed by a supposedly cheeky ‘Who do plan to entice?’. In my opinion, it’s the entire belief system of letting go once in a relationship, as well as firmly placing oneself in the ‘enticed’ category, which apparently calls for a funeral of taking pride in one’s appearance. But this is clearly a musing for another day.

Coming back to the issue at hand, when I reached the weight when people started wondering/rudely asking if I had a bun in the oven, I knew I had to do something! And when I decide to do something, I go all out!

Of course, I bought a pair of trainers and workout wear, yet sadly, they never saw the light of day.

But the shamelessly optimistic never give up!

I then decided to join a new therapy, which initiated weight loss at a cellular level. Goddammit! If anything got 3 trillion cells in my body to move it without me moving – I was all in. So for a month, a friend and I would rush during lunch break, brave peak hour traffic (you would know what I mean if you had to cross 3 schools at 1:30pm), and sit on an electromagnetic bed for 8 mins. Those 8 mins were equal to a 4 km walk on grass. After 104 kms, I reached the conclusion that my cells were stubborn little bastards who managed to escape exercise even in their microcosm.

Then cometh the greatest enemy of weight loss – Diwali (Closely followed by Holi). Nothing much to elucidate – I honestly, didn’t even try.

Diwali – Christmas – New year – Holi.. Oh! How time flies. *avoids eye-contact*

At around this time, I met a couple of my old college mates; they were quite surprised (read shocked) to see my puffer fish appearance. And here come the trusty ol’ untrusty hormones to the rescue (Yes, I know untrusty isn’t a word, but sometimes I like to make stuff up – so, sue me grammar police!)

It’s a hormonal thing! I blithely answered.

A brilliant escape plan if I do say so myself.Shameless optimism

 

To be continued…

Curious to know what happens next? The story continues in God Bless this Hot Mess!

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40 thoughts on “WEIGHT MANAGEMENT FOR THE SHAMELESSLY OPTIMISTIC

  1. BB.. between you and me I am fat… I say its my imbalanced hormones. Yes, we guys have it too… its when beer moves all those hormones to the the center of the body to create a tire ring. – Hugs N (typed while eating a pizza)

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Hahaha, this was brilliant Megha, brilliant is THE word for this !! I’m laughing my ass off here. Though I haven’t had much weight struggles so far (being a stick thin and high metabolic rate) but I’ve seen my friends struggling with it. And well…things escalate quickly if I do say so myself 😀

    This post was nothing short of pure light hearted entertaining read, thanks for sharing it with me 🙂

    Much love,
    Zee ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow!! Thank you thank you THANK YOU, Zee for the love!! I was aiming for two things with this post – Empathy (from those who’d “get” the whole weight management war) and humor (especially from those who didn’t share my predicament).
      All i can say is ‘Mission accomplished’!! Hahaha! I was sooo afraid of submiting this post to you for talent hub.. maybe i.ll just do it in an email.. after all I AM shamelessly optimistic 😉
      xx, M

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hahahaha! I can totally relate! That’s exactly what happened to me after I had three kids. Suddenly, I didn’t know where my waist had gone to! It took me years, blood, sweat, and tears, but I finally managed to get most of the weight off. It’s not easy, but it’s possible! I will be reading your future posts

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Hi Charu!
      I’m happy that you could relate to it ‘and’ enjoyed it as well!! Obesity is such a complex issue that it’s almost impossible to deal with all facets of it at one time. Most of us are or have been victims.. Enjoy the humorous part of it as well! Next post coming up soon!!

      xx, M

      PS: You can follow the post by enetering your email ID at the bottom of the page; that way posts can directly be sent to your inbox 🙂 Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I too blame the shameless hormones like all the hopeless optimistically.😄😄.you have addressed one of the world’s leading problem obesity,with such ease and fun.wonderfully written..waiting for the to be continued……

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a ton for the love Panna!!! I’m glad you enjoyed it!! Next one coming soon 🙂 drop in your email address at the bottom of the page to get posts directly mailed to you 🙂
      xx, M

      Like

  8. Amusing Read Megha!..I totally enjoyed it n I totally relate to it ( shamelessly)..And my
    experience in this journey is…Yes losing weight is tough n losing post pregnancy is tougherrr..so u can very well understand my plight. Well waiting for my next read..Write soon!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a ton for your lovely words Anubha!! I sympathize with you wholeheartedly! but sometimes the journey is more interesting than the destination… hahaha!
      Drop in your email ID at the bottom of the page so you get the next installment directly sent to your inbox!

      xx, M

      Like

  9. Lady.. Seen it,felt it, endured it all… But now i am very close to where I wanted to be. Can you imagine I put on a whopping 17kgs during pregnancy, and now I am just 3kilos away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Not boasting but sheer reality. So I believe that if I can, anyone can!
    Wondering how I managed it ? The answer is daily workout, small meals, green tea,fruit intake, avoid junk as much as possible. It really works!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s fabulous Niny!! I’m happy for you! and right you are! From what i’ve gathered over the years, weight loss & weight management is not a goal or a destination; It’s a lifestyle change. Sustained success can only be achieved if you become one with a healthy lifestyle – as mentioned by you.

      The crazy part is that despite knowing this fact, most of us look for a quick-fix and the latest miracle solution on the market. It’s a satire of my own misadventures! 🙂

      Thanks for reading it and stay tuned for more!

      xx, m

      Like

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