THE DANGER OF LIVING IN GLASS HOUSES

An absolutely terrifying, traumatic and torturous incident took place at work today. (Now that’s a lot of adjectives that start with a T). PAUSE. (I have a strange feeling that some of you may have already started laughing *huff, followed by a hair flip*)

My place of work is beautiful. One could call it a Palace of Glass  – largely due to the dominance of silicon dioxide to that of brick and mortar.

I often find myself admiring the industrially austere minimalism of the construction, with its lush gardens and strategically placed indoor landscapes.

Not to mention, what the abundance of reflective surfaces does for a closet narcissist. *preening*

I know Cinderella didn’t have much to begin with.. But a bubble? Really?? #1

It was at one such surface, while I was stealthily checking my mane for gravity-defying signs, when I heard a loud sound.

TTHHWWAAKKK!!!!

I blinked and ducked as something shot straight into my bloody face!

Well, almost into my face!

To my absolute horror (and I shudder as I write this), I saw a pigeon collide headfirst onto the window currently on mirror-duty.

The aftermath of the collision #2

Luckily there was small ledge just under the point of impact. It landed there with a soft thud and at first glance, I feared the worst. I quickly bent down on my side of the fence to better diagnose the situation.

The poor mite looked miserable as hell, while obviously seeing stars!

With all my sympathy! #3

It kept shaking its head (seemingly to clear its starry vision) while I impotently looked on from the other side.

The hitherto dormant and self-proclaimed veterinarian in me made a convincing case of taking matters in my own hands.

Window collision SOS#1: CHECK FOR BLOOD

Check. check. I couldn’t see any blood – so that was definitely a good sign. *please note author’s amazing power of inference*

Window collision SOS#2: KEEP VICTIM CONSCIOUS

Being a busybody of the highest order, I felt that the second best thing to mouth to mouth resuscitation was trying to keep it conscious (well, that’s what they say in the movies!). So, I started tapping the glass next the bird.

Tap, tap, tap!

It stopped its shaking and drunkenly blinked at me a couple of times.

The eyelids started to droop. OH.NO! Window Collision SOS#2 was not going as planned!!

Fearing that the blue-grey ball of fur was about to faint, I started tapping the glass again with furious intent.

TAP, TAP, T.A.P!!!

The pigeon looked at me with rising alarm and before I could do anything (calm it down or something!), it started to awkwardly flap it wings. In addition to failing to fly, the erratic flailing of wings was shuffling the bird further away from me and towards the edge of the ledge it was currently perched upon.

I was shaking my head, while a litany of NOs were coming out of my mouth.

When I saw that the bird had reached the absolute edge of the edge, I thwacked my palms straight onto the glass, in a final effort to stop it from going any further back.

Considering the circumstances, *not* the brightest idea.

The moment-seemed-suspended-in-time cliché held true and I almost saw the ‘uh-ho’ expression on its tiny face as it disappeared from view – plummeting into the landscaped depths..

NOOOOOOOOOOO………! #4

Everything seemed to be happening in slo mo. I rushed down the stairs and soon saw, to my utter relief, that it had landed on the grassy carpet.

I squatted down and stuck my nose to the glass to gauge if Window collision SOS was required, yet again.

Wiser now, I gently tapped on the glass to garner the attention of the disoriented Aves. I leaned forward in an attempt to help, when it frantically started flapping it wings. It circled the glass enclosure for a few minutes and then flew up, up, uppp and away!

Well, I never! Ungrateful creature!

However, before I had time to recover, I was pulled into conversation by a colleague who was passing by and soon forgot all about the incident (temporarily, I assure you).

So, while taking the stairs back up (note: this is me actively avoiding elevators – I deserve a pat on the back!) I was stunned to see a ghostly reminder of the unfortunate collision, in the form of a powdery outline of the pigeon.

Powder lines serving as a ghostly reminder of the collision

Which made me think about Glass houses and the dangers of living in them!

And to those of you who’d thought I’d be writing about metaphoric glass houses – Gotcha!!! *evil laugh*

Mr. Burns got the evil laugh down pat! #5

Later, when I shared this incident with a friend (we work together), she shared her very own ghostly reminder. 

Another day, another collision.

All I can say is – OUCH! *Cringe*

xx, M

End note: My pigeon was lucky – It got away with less than a lost feather! But, there are many birds that suffer a fateful end with window collisions. If you find yourself in such a situation, please provide them with some urgent TLC – you could end up saving the bird’s life! The following two links provide professional advise (You can rest easy – none of it is mine!) on dealing with such situations:

• http://drellenrudolph.com/blog/how-to-help-a-bird-that-has-collided-with-a-window/
• http://www.birds.cornell.edu/AllAboutBirds/faq/attracting/challenges/window_collisions

P.S: This post was *featured* in Paper.li! *happy dance*

Media Credits:

1. moviepilot
2. gifsoup
3. imgbuddy
4. giphy
5. giphy
6. feather: http://liebealina.tumblr.com/post/33384594371